one of our favorite [borrowed] mottos:

"We aren't stopping traffic, we are traffic!"

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Nobody said it was easy to get your kids to school on their bikes!

TOMORROW is Bike/Walk to School Day!!

Praise for the parents making an effort to get to school by bike or on foot! Because it is not an easy task!

Chris Brown's commentary on getting his kids to school by bike:
I have been riding my kids to middle school by bike everyday since it started (except for 1 rain day- don't tell anyone- shhhh.....).
They have been using different kinds of bikes to keep it interesting and to promote the idea to other parents.

They are learing a lot of things:

- My kids have no idea where their school is- or how to get home.

- Sometimes while riding, they just fall over.

- Sometimes they roll right into traffic.

- They don't teach the difference between right and left in the schools since the secular humanismist hijacked the education system. Yelling at your kid to "turn right" can have interesting consequences.

- All kids are required to carry large band instruments home everynight- You can't ride to school unless you have a trailer.

- Backpacks and lunches are huge and require racks and baskets on the bikes.

- No you can't hang the backpacks and lunches over the handle-bars and ride in a straight line.

- Buy your kids a combo lock not a key lock. Keys are too easy to lose. If you loose your mind..... that's another thing. (Always carry a large cable cutter in your sock.)

- Nobody else rides to school, so we are the weirdos.

- There are a lot of rules around the school yard about bikes that don't make any sense.

- Parents are fair game for getting yelled at by teachers for riding on side walks.
Teach your kid to pull into curb cuts at 90 degees or you'll have to buy your kid a new coat.

- Don't show your wife this list, you will never be allowed to ride them to school again.

- Make sure you leave 4 hours earlier then you need to - it still won't be enough time.

- Don't store your helmets where the cats can pee in them.

- The nightmares about your kids getting 'doored' will eventually disipate once you meet the kids at school that they hang out with.

- Even though the idea of getting all the neighborhood kids together to ride to school is beautiful, romantic, and communal..... it will make you want to burn your "It takes a Village" book by H. Clinton. - The only people that believe "it takes a village" are super interested in you raising their kids so they can sleep in. - I don't want to live in that village.

- Spend the $3 bucks to buy one of those things that goes on you ankles so your pants don't get ripped to shreds. - Then buy like 100 of them.

- Make sure you have some gas in your car so you can go pick up the bike from the school at 9:30 pm when you discover your kid rode the bus home with Eddie Haskel today. If you wait until it's dark, you can still claim to be living the dream to all the other bed-head dads that you see at the drop off-curb.

- If you leave town for a business trip.... nobody else in the world can do your commuting job. You may as well take them to Las Vegas with you.

- When your kids tell you they want to try riding their bikes by themselves to see if they can do it.....and you are so proud that they are growing up and buying into your green philosophies.... they are tricking you in some way...... maybe ride to a friends house to play video games before school starts and then jumping in a car at the last minute. Don't be deceived- they are born evil.

I'm pretty close to over-coming all of these issues and it only took two weeks. I'm not going to sugar coat it -they might call it parenting. I have no doubt that the kids in our family that survive will have very fond memories of these days, someday.

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